Current mood: nostalgic
1. The Christmas I got my electric typewriter. Why I wanted an electric typewriter is beyond me now. But at the time, I just *had* to have one. I remember utilizing the demo feature over and over again even though it wasted the ink. I liked how fast it would type. I never had anything of any importance to type, but it was fun. Sometimes, I would type faux law documents. Then, I decided to write a novel. I'd give anything to find that draft now. I'm certain that it sucked... but nonetheless, it was by me and only me and I'd like to read now what I thought was publish-worthy then.
2. The Christmas I got my black and hot pink ten-speed bike. I rode that thing forEVER. I remember teaching myself how to ride 'no handed'. I especially liked how one of the speeds (Lord knows which one) was so easy to pedal. I felt 'free'. That's funny now because I've since learned that 'freedom' costs quite a bit of money. Looking at now and then, I think I prefer the freedom that came with the ten-speed.
3. The time my parents trimmed back the HUUUUUGE oak tree we had in the backyard. There were branches everywhere. The four of us kids wove some of the branches into a clubhouse and made trails around the rest of the yard. There was so much scope for the imagination (Anne of Green Gables reference). I could have played there until ... well, I'd still be playing there if it were around. I was so disappointed when I came home from school the next day to find eveything gone. Kid World and Adult World are so different. My parents were so very up on their game and I was so very sad to see the world I'd created gone. I swear to you that I would play in that branch world this very moment if I had one. In fact, I have a tree in my yard that is pretty close to making that dream come true. I promise right here and now that I'll keep it for at least a week so that the kids and I can play to our hearts' content. I really don't care what the neighbors think.
4. The Christmas play I did for St. Mark's. I was Camels 1 and 3. I wore this ridiculous costume where the camel head was ontop of my own head. When we practiced, we had these wonderful dinners that the parents provided. While I was only a camel and I was nervous when it was time to perform, what I loved was the rehearsals and dinners. Not just because of the all-you-can-eat food, but because that church really felt like a family. I went back about 17 years later (yes, I'm that old, sadly), and I didn't feel the same sense of family I did when I was small. The congregation was much, much smaller. The priest was someone I didn't know. It just wasn't the same, so I never went back.
5. Being an altar-... person at St. Frances. Ian, my brother, and I would legit argue on the altar. Back then, our arguments were life and death. Now, not only can I not remember a single reason for arguing, but I seriously doubt any were worth taking to the altar. I have always had a fear of spiders. I remember one Wednesday night cringing at a spider that silked (is that a real verb?) its way to the altar and I pretty well made it clear that either the spider OR I was staying at the altar. Fortunately for me... but not the spider... Father Pat chose me. The spider's life was sadly ended with a finger-squash.
6. The day I set myself on fire. It was a late summer morning and I'd decided to get up early to start getting ready for getting up early for school. Breakfast was being made (which involved the stove somehow) and I was leaning infront of the stove. Somehow, the hot pink t-shirt I loved (loved enough to cut the bottom into fringes for my 6th grade talent show -- I lip-sinced -- lip-sanc -- whichever -- some Tiffany song) caught fire. I never knew. My mom started studdering for me to turn around with great big eyes. I did and she started beating my back. Why? Well, as the introductory sentence states, I'd set myself on FIRE. She was saving my life. Nonetheless, all I was worried about was the shirt I coveted.
7. The time my sisters and I tried to make an angel cake. One of my sisters asked what would happen if you turned on the mixer without putting in the wet ingredients. Since both my parents were at Kroger's, the only obvious choice was for us to turn on the blender and find out. The answer, for those of you who never tried, is that powder goes EVVVVERRRYYYWHERE. My mom is STILL probably trying to clean that mess up. Poor woman.
8. Saturday cartoons. Now, you will find cartoons everywhere. I remember when cartoons were saved for Saturday mornings... followed by Kids' Mag. Weekday evenings were formatted for family nights. I would give anything to be able to watch some cookie-cutter family show with the girls as opposed to the girls watching child-appropriate TV in their playroom while I watched someone try to solve violent murder mysteries on my TV. Who decided that shows appropriate for all members of my family were retarded??? I need to beat that person up.
9. Co-Co, my dog. That dog took so many of my childhood secrets to her grave. Every person that hurt my feelings back then, my dog knew about. Everytime I felt left out of something, that dog knew about. Any really, really retarded dream I had for my adult self... that dog knew about. Right before Co-Co died, she didn't even recognize me. Even thought that was only a little over a year ago, I was still selfish enough to be hurt by that. I was so disassociated with her that Allen found out about her death before me. I was in our bedroom when he told me. At that time, all I could think about was all the times I didn't go and see her as an adult. She was so full of fleas and so weird then that I didn't want to take the girls to see her. How stupid was I?
10. High school in general. I had a great time. The music was fantastic. I truly loved my friends and truly hated my enemies. I had ZERO responsibilities. At that time, I fiercely loved my friends when I was at school and I would have given anything to always be at home with my family 24/7 when I was home. Now, I am so concerned with the mechanics of how to keep a family working that I simply don't have time to reap any benefits. I really, really would love to remember what I found important as a kid so that I can now make the kids all happy... but, honestly, I can't. Now, I referee fights... worry about what to make that EVERYONE will eat... worry about how to keep a house that all the children will remember fondly... etc... how cool was I to only worry about my outfit for school the next day? Had I only known.
11. The time my dad and I were seeing who could jump the farthest. He beat me, but it came at the expense of him breaking part of the glass-paneled back door. For a bit, I thought he was going to be mad at me because it was my idea that we see who could jump the furthest... but he wasn't. PERFECT.
12. The time my dad taught me his secret recipe for fried chicken. I tried so hard to remember that recipe as he taught me. All I remember about the recipe is chicken drumsticks and an electric griddle... oh, and sloooooooooow cookin'. Now, I can cook fried chicken with the best of 'em... I need no 'secret recipe'. But I've never not needed that night Dad wanted to cook with ME.
13. I seriously doubt anyone has ever questioned my love for coffee. Why would you, right? I love coffee because coffee was a HUGE part of my childhood. Both my parents loved it. I literally have ONE person who will drink it with me now (thank you, Martha). Coffee is comfort food to me. Coffee is me as a child. The smell, taste, heat... coffee was always there........... and always will be. Drinking coffee with someone makes me feel comfortable. It makes me happy. Without bombarding any reader with too much psycho-analysing... it's just very, very, very nice.
14. The Flower Girl Club. I stole the idea from the Brady Bunch. They had the Sunflower Girl Club. Ian, my brother, just had to be a part of this club, but my dad said that if he were in it, I had to change the name to the Flower PEOPLE club. How retarded. I fought the idea and Ian ended up coming up with the Bees' Club until I told him that bees help flowers. Then he came up with the 'Weeeeeeeeeds Club'. He and his stuffed animals had a wonderful time conspiring against the Flower Girls. We even had a Flower Girl Festival wherein we destroyed many of Mom's flower bushes in honor of ME. I was a 'Tard... but I was happy.
15. Our fireplace. I have no particular reason. I just really liked it.
16. When the streets would flood. We would swim forever in them. Now, I know we swam in sewage... but I'm still alive and I had fun, so who fucking cares??
17. Flower necklaces. Who knew you could be so stunningly beautiful if you tied weed flowers together and put them on?
18. The Crack. I managed to get several little girls together and we all pooped...SIMUTANIOUSLY... in some really insignificant piece of land. We got caught. BUT, we showed the boys that they couldn't just force us out of any place because they wanted it. It was worth sitting in my room forever... and I do mean FOREVER.
19. Coal River Road. I was happy. There were a couple of things that happened that I am not thrilled about; but as a whole, it was a nice time. Lesson learned: there isn't any such thing as 'OVER-protective' when it comes to any child.
20. Elementary school. Come ON... it was EASY. I know that everything is relevant... but really. LET me be the kid.
I love my life now... but really, it was easier being the irresponsible one. The one who never knew any stress other than so-and-so was mean today.
I hope that I'm noticing enough with the kids. Even so, I already know I'm too concerned with the mechanics and not enough with the big picture...
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